Friends surrounding & kickboxing help get through time of grief

Part IV

by Carlynn Rainey-Crawford
Posted 5/31/23

Editor’s Note: Be sure to read Part I through III of this series from Iuka native Carlynn Rainey Calvert in previous issues. Available online at www.tishco.news.

The downsides to working with …

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Friends surrounding & kickboxing help get through time of grief

Part IV

Posted

Editor’s Note: Be sure to read Part I through III of this series from Iuka native Carlynn Rainey Calvert in previous issues. Available online at www.tishco.news.
The downsides to working with Downtown Paws were twofold; working outside also meant working in the rain and I was alone all day. While I processed my mother’s death, I think being alone was good. There came a time, however, that I needed to be around people, and I was ready for a new challenge. After some job applications and interviews, I received a position with the church I was attending, West Houston Church of Christ (WHCC). This job meant I would be back in an office setting.
This was somewhere familiar and with people I knew, so it seemed less threatening. I was Administrative Assistant to the Senior Minister, who was relatively low maintenance, and my main responsibilities were creating weekly and quarterly publications; event planning; database management; etc. I was able to lean into my creative and analytical skill sets in this job and it came with a pay increase.
I think it’s important to pause here and note that some people know exactly who and what they want to be when they grow up. I admire these people who know their strengths and relentlessly pursue them. For me, though, it wasn’t about what or who I wanted to be. I was still trying to figure out how to survive. I was still trying to manage this anxiety and I hadn’t had enough space from it to know if the worst were behind me. If I could characterize my career journey to this point it would be like a map. My map was really hard to read and had many, many detours because of construction. I was building something. It was painfully slow, brick by brick.
I was holding my breath those first couple of weeks at WHCC…not sure if I would sink or swim. The familiarity of the place and people helped. The office staff was made up of 12 employees. Almost half the staff, including myself, were in their mid to late 20’s. Everyone was young at heart, especially Andy who was always so positive, happy and randomly bursting out in song. He was the worship minister. Mary was extremely kind to me with the loss of my mom and she became like a second mom. Shawn, she became my best friend. James and Tim were supportive and encouraging. We all were a great team. We worked hard and had fun too. I worked at WHCC for 3 years.
Something in me had shifted after my mom’s death. She had been very sick with diabetes that led to kidney failure. She had congestive heart failure among other ailments. I wanted to honor my mom’s memory by taking better care of my health. That led to joining the YMCA which coincidentally was only a block from WHCC. Going to fitness classes became my favorite pastime. Pro tip: exercise is GREAT for anxiety! It only took one kickboxing class taught by Misty and I was hooked. Misty became my personal trainer for a while. One day she asked me, “Why don’t you become a fitness instructor? You’d be great at it.” The thought never crossed my mind, but the seed was planted. With Misty’s help, I studied and became a certified fitness instructor. Not only was I working full time at WHCC, now I was teaching up to 10 classes a week and I loved every minute of it!
The anxiety of working in an office setting was subsiding. I was building more confidence and self-esteem by teaching and helping others become better versions of themselves. I had the best, most fun students. The best compliment I have ever received was being nicknamed “Coach”. Who would have ever thought this shy, small-town girl would be leading boot camp, kickboxing, weight training classes, and getting paid to do it? Certainly not me.
Context is everything and hindsight too. When I reflect on how I got to this point in my story, it’s not nearly as much about me as it is about the people that walked beside me at the right times just as God intended. The ones that held up a mirror to reflect back to me my strengths and talents. Without those people, I wouldn’t have had courage or recognized my strengths. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “Don’t discount the people along your journey. Listen to them. Believe them when they tell you that you are good at something. Don’t be afraid to lean on people. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. God has a plan for you.”
Remember what I referenced in Part 3? The ebbs and flows of life and even if professional success is happening, it doesn’t always bleed over into personal success. What many didn’t know was my marriage was on the rocks. Things may have looked great on the outside, but they weren’t on the inside. My marriage would eventually end. This would be the third major life event that would forge a path to Corporate America.
So, what happens next? How did I move forward? Only 2 articles left! Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 5 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.