Last November, I drove all the way to Higden, Arkansas for a silent retreat. Silent retreat = no talking and silent rest. Practicing silence means turning off and putting away all distractions to better hear from God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It’s also a practice of being with yourself and hearing your own thoughts and voice. It’s a practice of resting. How often are you quiet during the day? How often do you truly rest? When you lay down at night, is this the first time that you are quiet with no distractions? Does your mind spring to life with thoughts and worries? Yep, mine too. This means I’m not allowing time in the day to think, to pray, or to process. In fact, I often work hard to keep from having to think, process, or feel because it seems overwhelming. It takes a lot of energy to keep pushing things down or away. This might be why feeling tired and overwhelmed are commonplace these days. We aren’t allowing space to just be; to be a human being instead of a human doing. When I first heard about this silent retreat, it was on a podcast. The podcaster had recently attended and had many wonderful things to say about it, and I immediately wanted to experience it too. She described it as a way to eliminate distraction, crowds, and hurry which stands between us and peace. Jesus said to his disciples in Mark 6:31a, “Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while.”

Even though I didn’t know much about this retreat, I sought it out, signed up, and prepared myself to drive 7 hours to attend. That’s a key indicator that I was craving peace and rest. The drive wasn’t difficult at all. Much of the travel was familiar to me because we usually travel through Arkansas on our way home to Iuka, MS. Once I arrived, I was greeted by Danielle, who was leading us that weekend. It was going to be a small group, only 5 of us in total. After the introductions, we ate dinner together all while still talking and getting to know one another. Then, we gathered in the living room. Danielle led us in a few songs of worship, prepared our minds with scripture before we closed with prayer, turned off our phones, turned them in for the weekend, and we shifted into silence. Each of us had our own bedrooms and I quickly retired to mine. I was tired from the day’s drive. My usual routine for bed is watching TV and being on my phone. I had neither and I slept 8 hours that night. When I awoke and emerged from my room, breakfast had already been made. I took my coffee outside on the deck and then proceeded down to the lake shore to explore. I noticed deer and dog prints in the mud and the small, smooth rocks along the shore. I sat on top of a big rock overlooking the lake. Fishermen in boats would wave as they passed by. There was an island directly across from shore and kayaks could be used to get there. One of the ladies from the retreat had struck out on an island adventure. She was braver than I. I wandered back up to the cabin. I really didn’t want to read a book while I was at the retreat. I wanted to be silent and hear from God. My mind, however, was not cooperating and I remembered Danielle’s prompting that sometimes it’s better to focus your mind on a book. I pulled from the library the one she recommended, “Living Fearlessly” by Jamie Winship. The book was incredibly helpful with prayer prompts and encouragement for listening for God’s voice. The book recommended to pray and write down what you hear or sense from God. Looking up from the book, I found myself noticing the leaves drop from the trees. This is what I wrote in my journal:

“Methodical drops. Not one leaf in a hurry, making its decent gracefully with swoops and spins. Not to be rushed. The leaves fall joyfully. The season changing and the leaves don’t try to stay. When it’s their time to go, they let go and fall freely. Not a worry or bother. They are doing what they are supposed to do. No argument, only a delightful freefall to make a crunchy carpet on the ground.”

Later, my attention was brought to the squirrels. I wrote about them, too:

“Scampering squirrels. Jumping from one branch to another. They must weigh a few ounces because the branches barely move under their weight. Back and forth they scale at least 15 trees. Never a misstep. They are skilled tree climbers and jumpers. Never needing the ground to get to where they are going, instead they navigate tree city. Scampering to gather food for the day. Methodically searching for the day’s allotment. They don’t spin or toll. They know they will be provided for; their creator provides for them.”

That evening, I found another big rock to perch upon with a blanket and watched over the lake. I loved seeing all nature’s details. The vibrant green weeds against the stark contrast of the rust brown rocks, the dormant gray trees and grass. The white and yellow flowers on the weeds. Had I not been still and silent with no distractions, I wouldn’t have noticed or even cared about the landscape colors. I slept for 9 hours that night. We remained silent until 10:00 am on Sunday for a total of 40 hours of silence. After we broke our silence, Danielle led us with worship songs and scripture. We each shared what our experience had been. God met each of us right where we needed Him...all in unique and different ways. For me, it was God bringing me into the present to notice the leaves, the squirrels, and the color palette along the shoreline. All in all, it was an absolutely wonderful experience and I will do it again next month!

Our world is filled with distraction. Unless we are intentional with who and what is gaining our attention, the distractions will win every time. The silent retreat was a way to encourage me to find pockets of time to be silent. To put away the phone, take a walk in nature, and be silent and still. Silence is rare and an often-neglected gift.