Part II: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl

by Carlynn Rainey-Crawford
Posted 5/24/23

Editor’s Note: Be sure to read Part I of this series from Iuka native Carlynn Rainey in last week’s issue. Available online at www.tishco.news. The job situation wasn’t looking good …

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Part II: Career Confessions from a Small Town Girl

Posted

Editor’s Note: Be sure to read Part I of this series from Iuka native Carlynn Rainey in last week’s issue. Available online at www.tishco.news.
The job situation wasn’t looking good only a few months after graduating college in the summer of 2006. I was a tadpole in an ocean called Houston, Texas and the anxiety attacks supported that analogy.
I tried another office temp job. I was ok for a couple of days and then quit that job too. I witnessed a girl get fired. I got in my head about it and couldn’t let the fear go that I would be next. Never mind that the fear was unfounded. Anxiety doesn’t work that way. It’s not logical. It was all unwarranted fear. None of this was a good look for me nor a good track record for trying to find and keep a job. Not to mention the temp agency wasn’t going to work with me again. How was I supposed to explain what I was going through? From the outside looking in, I looked like a mess and who wants to hire a mess? I was an unreliable employee, and I couldn’t blame them for thinking that way.
Back then one of my favorite channels to watch was the Food Network Channel. I love to cook! I don’t remember the name of the show, but it highlighted this new up-and-coming food preparation franchise called Super Suppers. I was intrigued. It was founded in Texas and one was opening not far from my apartment. I was beginning to shift gears. Since I was having trouble in an office setting type job, I thought if I could get a job working with my hands, I could distract my brain. I met the assistant manager for an interview and was offered a job a few days later. It was a job for minimum wage, $5.15/hour.
A quick pause here because it’s important to note this job and the minimum wage offer. I was a college graduate and making minimum wage.
Now back to the story…something else was shifting, although I couldn’t possibly have known it back then. I had begun attending a church in Northwest Houston and found a woman who had her counseling certificate. She was offering her services free of charge to members of the church, and I began seeing her to talk through the anxiety I was experiencing. I was already incredibly nervous to begin yet another job for obvious reasons and on top of that I had created a real fear within myself that I wouldn’t be able to handle it…much like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Combine those together and ladies and gentlemen we have an almost perfect storm. But guess what? The storm dissipated before it had a chance to fully form.
On my first day at Super Suppers, we were tasked with cleaning the store to get ready for opening day. I spent several hours with rags, paper towels, and cleansing agents on my hands and knees scrubbing all the things. The following days consisted of prepping recipes in the kitchen and at the differing workstations. I enjoyed all of it! My hunch was correct, by keeping my hands busy, I was able to distract my mind. One day turned into a week and that turned into working at Super Suppers for six whole months.
Several things happened at Super Suppers that helped get my feet back underneath me. First, I was learning to work with and through the anxiety. Next, I was beginning to create a community. I was seeing the church counselor who was giving me an outlet to speak my fears out loud. Sometimes fears can be incredibly scary when left unspoken. Letting them out with a trusted person dilutes them. I was beginning to build self-esteem again. I was beginning to have more steps forward than backward. I also met Jen who began working part-time at Super Suppers. We became fast friends. She shared her challenges with anxiety and that she was working through some things too. She showed me that normal, regular people struggle, and that it’s ok. Context is everything and hindsight too. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything it would be, “slow down, life isn’t a race. Sometimes the journey takes much longer than we wanted or anticipated. Sometimes we have to try different things until we find the right things. Sometimes we have to make baby steps when we want to take leaps. Everything will work out and be ok.” The key was to keep pressing forward and to keep shining a light in the dark corner that my big life change had caused. Jen, my counselor, and Super Suppers were all shining lights in that darkness.
The story isn’t finished yet. There’s more ground to cover from dog walking to working in nonprofit, fitness instructing, and Corporate America. So, what happens next? Stay tuned and I’ll unfold the story in part 3 of this career series from a small-town girl in the big city.